I know I don't blog very much, and I know that a lot of people probably don't read what I write, but I decided to blog today.
So God has been doing great things in my life lately! He's been teaching me new things through different people and things in my life. I have decided to honestly and boldly follow God, yes I know, I have made that decision before, but I want to step out of my comfort zone and boldly confess God's love. I have always been comfortable, and honestly haven't stretched my faith. I have been on missions trips, but I have been "content" with where I was going . I believe that Russia will surely stretch my faith this year. This is the first trip that I will not be able to understand what the kids are going to be telling me because I don't know Russian all that much. I know that God has me on every trip, because I have something unique to offer the team.
That is all for now...hopefully I blog more...hahaha
Monday, March 1, 2010
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Blessings Showering Down
Another year here at CBU is upon me. And what can I say, but thank you. This year is starting out great and it is going to be a wonderful experience with all the new things that I am doing. I am already making a lot of great friends. God has really blessed me this past year. He has opened many doors for me to serve. I changed my life around, and turned in the right direction following the right path. Stumbling is part of the process, I know, but those are lessons to be learned. I never try to make the same mistakes twice, well now I don't. I know that God really has me on this earth for a purpose, and while I'm still trying to figure it out, I know that he will come through one day and give me the answer to that.
Well today is the first day of classes, and I only have choir today, so I'm pretty stoked about that. I can't wait to see all of the girls again.
Well today is the first day of classes, and I only have choir today, so I'm pretty stoked about that. I can't wait to see all of the girls again.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
something as simple as an avocado
There are some days where I miss him a little, but he’s still in the back of my head. But then there are these days, the days where I miss him the most. I go to the grocery store, see something that reminds me of him. I come home and I stare at a picture of him and cry wishing he could be back, but he won’t. I look back on home videos of when I was younger, when we were all happy at one point or another, and I can’t imagine then, losing him. But here, I’m hit with the harsh reality of what life is without him. I’m here telling myself that everything is going to be ok without him, and hoping it will be. The present is where we find ourselves, we cannot hold onto the past, because it is sometimes forgotten. But this I do know, he will never be forgotten. In the past 1 year, 10 months and 23 days it has been torture for me, but I have learned life lessons from each and everyday. Even when he’s gone, he opens up new things about me that I have never known. Everyday is a struggle, but looking at something as small as an Avocado, brings back all the good in my life, everything that he brought in my life, which was joy.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Some thinking late at night
I haven't really written a blog in FOREVER!!!
but anyways I wanted to write some thoughts down
I've been having some emotional issues the past couple of days. I mean I have been in a very good mood, but at the end of the day, I come home, and find some pictures of my grandpa, and I start to cry. I miss him very much. I guess I just wish that he could see how much improvement that I have made. I wish that he was here to tell me that he was proud of me. I keep crying, but it's a good cry I guess.
Another thing is that I am so blessed by my life right now. I have been very happy since I got back from Canada, and I can't believe I'm still in this much of a good mood. I have been having cabin fever a few times from being home all the time, but I think it's all good. I can't wait to move in the apartment with Bry in September.
The last, but certainly not least thing, I'm SOOOO excited that my sister is pregnant. I want to be an aunt again. The only thing that I have been "wondering" about is, if she has a girl, Dani is the god mother, but if it is a boy, I'm the god mother, because Dani doesn't want another god son. I'm asking for prayer because if you were thinking the thoughts that I thought when I found out about this, you would pray for me. I'm praying for myself to be humble. I don't necessarily want to be a god mother. I'm fine with being an aunt, but I don't want to tell Shawna that. So just pray that my mind will be in the right state so that I can make this decision, and pray that I will not get angry at my sister Dani for anything else.
but anyways I wanted to write some thoughts down
I've been having some emotional issues the past couple of days. I mean I have been in a very good mood, but at the end of the day, I come home, and find some pictures of my grandpa, and I start to cry. I miss him very much. I guess I just wish that he could see how much improvement that I have made. I wish that he was here to tell me that he was proud of me. I keep crying, but it's a good cry I guess.
Another thing is that I am so blessed by my life right now. I have been very happy since I got back from Canada, and I can't believe I'm still in this much of a good mood. I have been having cabin fever a few times from being home all the time, but I think it's all good. I can't wait to move in the apartment with Bry in September.
The last, but certainly not least thing, I'm SOOOO excited that my sister is pregnant. I want to be an aunt again. The only thing that I have been "wondering" about is, if she has a girl, Dani is the god mother, but if it is a boy, I'm the god mother, because Dani doesn't want another god son. I'm asking for prayer because if you were thinking the thoughts that I thought when I found out about this, you would pray for me. I'm praying for myself to be humble. I don't necessarily want to be a god mother. I'm fine with being an aunt, but I don't want to tell Shawna that. So just pray that my mind will be in the right state so that I can make this decision, and pray that I will not get angry at my sister Dani for anything else.
Thursday, July 2, 2009
My Testimony
Growing up was really difficult for me. Always getting picked on in school by a lot of my "friends." And yet I still would call them my friends, because I really had no one, even if they always called me a fat cow. I struggled that way with friendships. I became very depressed when I entered Middle School, and then High School. I tried to kill myself on various occasions, thinking my life was over because I really had no friends, and I didn't have a family that didn't support me, or so I thought. I knew I was a failure because I never could be perfect for anyone, and I was trying SO hard to fit in. But there was one person who could always make me happy, and she knew that it didn't matter what I looked like, she was still there for me through everything, and I owe her my life for that. She knows who she is.
I made a choice to give my life whole heartily to Christ when I was 16 in 2005 while I was at Day7 @ Harvest with "her", and since then, I'm not going to lie, it has been a hard challenge for me. I struggled with drinking, drugs, and relationships with boys. When I entered my first year of college, it was really rough, I lost my grandpa in September, I got into the "party" scene, and I was making very bad choices. I was on the verge of losing "her" in my life, which at the time, I was selfish, rude, and completely out of line, and I knew at one point, I lost her. In November of 2007, I decided to make a decision, I was at my interview for ISP and I decided that I wanted to rededicate my life to Christ, since I thought that I was going on a missions trip. I then realized that I wasn't ready to make that kind of commitment. I was still partying, still doing drugs, and I had an unfortunate miscarriage. Through all of that, I still went on a my missions trip in March of 2008. Something that really changed my perspective of my world view. I realized that even though I live in a place where I was comfortable with my faith, and I can just go about calling myself a christian, make jokes about serving God, and yet still go out and party, and do those other harmful things. I was being a hypocritical Christian, and knew I was doing it. I hated liars, and I hated fake people who would put a face on for everyone, and yet, I was one of those people. I cried each and everyday while I was on that trip. I realized what I did, and what I had lost. I wanted to get rid of my sins. I wanted to rise above everyone who thought I couldn't do it, and stand up to them, stand up for myself, which I rarely do.
When I got home from my trip, I was so on fire for God. I wanted to get deeper into his word, and I wanted to know him more. But that flame soon burnt out. I was under deep spiritual attack. On the weekdays I was fine, because I was at school all the time, but when the weekends came, I was with people who partied ALL THE TIME. I soon slipped on April 18, 2008. I was so ashamed of myself afterward. I consumed so much alcohol that I was drunk for 2 days. I was disgusted with myself and I told myself that day, that I would never drink again. These promises that I make to myself, I never took them seriously. I was, and still am, a people pleaser, I would put myself under so much strain, even hurting myself, seemed little, only for me to please others. For me to see that I can put a smile on at least one persons face.
I'm proud to say that I stuck to my word. I did not have one single drink of alcohol after that day. It's a choice to do this. I choose to do this because I believe that I am a better person than that. I want to believe that I can overcome something that these days has become the center of some peoples Universe. It's weird for me to sit here and not be at a random party and pass out in the street. But I chose this lifestyle.
As for the guys in my life. Yes I let them take over a lot of my life. I get so consumed in creating their "perfect" image, that I never realize what I'm doing. Getting my virginity taken away from me was a hard thing to go through, and since then, I haven't guarded the rest of who I am for God. Just because I had something that is very important to me taken away, doesn't mean that I can't still be pure in God's eyes. It dumbfounds me when I see guys coming up to me, or talking to me, and they want to just take advantage of me.
This past trip to Canada has been the most significant thing in my life. I made a decision to be baptized while I was up there. Yes, it is a personal choice. One would think that you would want to be surrounded by family, friends, and the people you love. Well I didn't have my family there, but I had friends, and certainly had people that I grew to love, and always will have a piece of my heart for them. I chose to do this in Canada, because I felt a really big calling to do it. I prayed about it first, before I told my team that I wanted to do this. I prayed for strength, to just be able to say that I wanted to do this, and I prayed for knowledge, so that I would know what I was doing. I also wanted to do this in Canada, because I knew that my faith was the strongest it has ever been. I knew that I would not let anyone bring me down. So I asked Kirk, if he would baptize me, and on May 17, 2009 I was baptized by both Kirk Overstreet and John Martens(Pastor of The Connection church in Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada). I was really blessed to be around these people, because they really brought out the true Katrina. The new and improved Katrina.
I'm not going to sit here and say that my life sucked. At some points in my life, I really did think that. But all in all, I had a pretty amazing adventure that God has put me through. He has taught me so much in this whole process. He has taught me to be a better leader as a youth leader in my church. He has taught me patients with people. And he has certainly taught me that I can be my own person, I just had to cut a few friendships that weren't pleasing to God. I would not change any of this for the world. Each of my heartaches, my losses, and my down points have all been life lessons that I have surely learned from them. I now take everything in life, and I have a positive response for it. This is who I am now, this is what God has shown me. This is the better me that I am certainly not changing anytime soon.
I made a choice to give my life whole heartily to Christ when I was 16 in 2005 while I was at Day7 @ Harvest with "her", and since then, I'm not going to lie, it has been a hard challenge for me. I struggled with drinking, drugs, and relationships with boys. When I entered my first year of college, it was really rough, I lost my grandpa in September, I got into the "party" scene, and I was making very bad choices. I was on the verge of losing "her" in my life, which at the time, I was selfish, rude, and completely out of line, and I knew at one point, I lost her. In November of 2007, I decided to make a decision, I was at my interview for ISP and I decided that I wanted to rededicate my life to Christ, since I thought that I was going on a missions trip. I then realized that I wasn't ready to make that kind of commitment. I was still partying, still doing drugs, and I had an unfortunate miscarriage. Through all of that, I still went on a my missions trip in March of 2008. Something that really changed my perspective of my world view. I realized that even though I live in a place where I was comfortable with my faith, and I can just go about calling myself a christian, make jokes about serving God, and yet still go out and party, and do those other harmful things. I was being a hypocritical Christian, and knew I was doing it. I hated liars, and I hated fake people who would put a face on for everyone, and yet, I was one of those people. I cried each and everyday while I was on that trip. I realized what I did, and what I had lost. I wanted to get rid of my sins. I wanted to rise above everyone who thought I couldn't do it, and stand up to them, stand up for myself, which I rarely do.
When I got home from my trip, I was so on fire for God. I wanted to get deeper into his word, and I wanted to know him more. But that flame soon burnt out. I was under deep spiritual attack. On the weekdays I was fine, because I was at school all the time, but when the weekends came, I was with people who partied ALL THE TIME. I soon slipped on April 18, 2008. I was so ashamed of myself afterward. I consumed so much alcohol that I was drunk for 2 days. I was disgusted with myself and I told myself that day, that I would never drink again. These promises that I make to myself, I never took them seriously. I was, and still am, a people pleaser, I would put myself under so much strain, even hurting myself, seemed little, only for me to please others. For me to see that I can put a smile on at least one persons face.
I'm proud to say that I stuck to my word. I did not have one single drink of alcohol after that day. It's a choice to do this. I choose to do this because I believe that I am a better person than that. I want to believe that I can overcome something that these days has become the center of some peoples Universe. It's weird for me to sit here and not be at a random party and pass out in the street. But I chose this lifestyle.
As for the guys in my life. Yes I let them take over a lot of my life. I get so consumed in creating their "perfect" image, that I never realize what I'm doing. Getting my virginity taken away from me was a hard thing to go through, and since then, I haven't guarded the rest of who I am for God. Just because I had something that is very important to me taken away, doesn't mean that I can't still be pure in God's eyes. It dumbfounds me when I see guys coming up to me, or talking to me, and they want to just take advantage of me.
This past trip to Canada has been the most significant thing in my life. I made a decision to be baptized while I was up there. Yes, it is a personal choice. One would think that you would want to be surrounded by family, friends, and the people you love. Well I didn't have my family there, but I had friends, and certainly had people that I grew to love, and always will have a piece of my heart for them. I chose to do this in Canada, because I felt a really big calling to do it. I prayed about it first, before I told my team that I wanted to do this. I prayed for strength, to just be able to say that I wanted to do this, and I prayed for knowledge, so that I would know what I was doing. I also wanted to do this in Canada, because I knew that my faith was the strongest it has ever been. I knew that I would not let anyone bring me down. So I asked Kirk, if he would baptize me, and on May 17, 2009 I was baptized by both Kirk Overstreet and John Martens(Pastor of The Connection church in Maple Ridge, British Columbia, Canada). I was really blessed to be around these people, because they really brought out the true Katrina. The new and improved Katrina.
I'm not going to sit here and say that my life sucked. At some points in my life, I really did think that. But all in all, I had a pretty amazing adventure that God has put me through. He has taught me so much in this whole process. He has taught me to be a better leader as a youth leader in my church. He has taught me patients with people. And he has certainly taught me that I can be my own person, I just had to cut a few friendships that weren't pleasing to God. I would not change any of this for the world. Each of my heartaches, my losses, and my down points have all been life lessons that I have surely learned from them. I now take everything in life, and I have a positive response for it. This is who I am now, this is what God has shown me. This is the better me that I am certainly not changing anytime soon.
Monday, May 21, 2007
literature
i was in class today and my teacher informed us that we were doing a paper on the book 1984. i flipped. i don't know anything about this book and even if i did would i really like it. Then he continued on to finish what the rest of the paper was going to be about. We have to compare 1984 to guantanamo bay. I guess it's the island where they put marines in and torture them for a day or two. My teacher is really politically involved but come on. no one in our class has ever heard about guantanamo bay. and he has never talked a lot about it. he did once and that was to tell us that bush is mean. Who honestly cares what you think about bush. he is our president and while he is in office at least have the curtosy to respect him. it's unbelievable what he tells us about bush. And apparently he is against nixon as well. You can tell he is a democrat and i am not. we have different views on things.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)